Tell the Leader the Truth

Tell the leader the truth! It seems like such a no-brainer. Of course we should tell the leader the truth, right? Yet, oftentimes in my experience, it’s not happening. 

Why? What would keep people from telling the whole truth? Sometimes it’s because we acquiesce to organizational politics. We don’t want to be the one who brings up the problem or takes the risk. We may think it’s better to just ignore it or work around it. We erringly believe that telling the leader the truth will create more problems. Yet, if the leader is unaware of what the true problems are, problems won’t get solved. Time will be wasted, losses will occur and things will get worse and the cost, both financially and in human capital, can be very high.

Here’s what happens when the leader is kept in the dark about a negative reality. Sometimes the negative reality no one wants to acknowledge is about another leader’s toxicity to the team or the organization. The people on the team all know that Tom is harming the mission and/or the culture but no one wants to be the one to tell the boss. The outcome is usually a loss of talented individuals who move on to a culture that deals with reality or a lack of success in the organization or teams accomplishing their goals. Time, money and talent is wasted.

How will you find out if you’re the leader being kept in the dark? What are some signs you can look for? 

One sign might be if your people seldom bring you problems. If they mainly report the successes and what they’re working on but most often skip over the barriers, they are most likely keeping you in the dark. Another sign is, if they do share any challenges they also have a solution and they don’t ask you for anything. They may also not ask for your advice and mostly report what they’ve accomplished and/or are working towards. In other words they’re performing instead of engaging with you. This isn’t the relationship you want. You want to know what’s really happening for them. It’s not necessary for you to get in the weeds and solve their problems; however, you want to be certain your people are telling you the whole truth, not just the parts they believe you want to hear.

Be encouraged when one of your team comes to you about a problem with another person on the team or in the organization. This is a high compliment and a testimony of their trust in you. We’re not talking about complaining about others, we’re talking about concerns. This is one of the differentiators to look for. 

When one of your team comes to you with a concern about another team member or leader in the organization, it’s a skilled leader who can make space for this while attuning and asking good probing questions. Leaders really want to know! How else will they be able to identify toxic patterns in their work cultures if they don’t discuss the toxicity on the team?

Be a leader who encourages honesty in both the positive and negative realities on the team or in the culture. This is the mark of a highly successful leader who develops their people to be competent at conflict and confrontation while building connection and trust. Powerful leaders lean into what’s going on interpersonally on their teams. Not to parent them, but to empower them.